Some really bad Star Wars jokes — don’t feel obliged to Force yourself to laugh…
1. Psychiatrist: What do you say to yourself when you look in a mirror? Darth Vader: ‘I find your lack of face disturbing.’
2. On the Forest Moon of Endor, how does the small furry creature commute to work? Ewoks.
3. What was Luke Skywalker’s nickname after he lost his hand in The Empire Strikes Back? Hand Solo.
4. What was the name of Luke’s space ship after it lost its flight panels? Ex-wing fighter.
5. Darth Vader didn’t enjoy his visit to the pub when their beer dispenser broke down. ‘I find your lack of froth disturbing,’ he said.
6. On which planet do they draw pictures on their skins all day long? Tatooine.
7. ‘How much change did you get back from 20p when you bought that sticker?’ asked Han.
Luke answered: ’See? 3p.’
‘Oh,’ replied Han.
8. What did Han Solo say when someone asked him to take responsibility for a split in geological strata? ‘It’s not my fault.’
9. A small cart pulled by a pony drove past Admiral Ackbar. ‘It’s a trap!’ he said.
10. ‘1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11…’ said Threepio. ‘Never tell me the odds,’ replied Han.
11. I didn’t realise that the disappearance of my ex-wife Faith was affecting others until Darth Vader said, ‘I find your lack of Faith disturbing.’
12. What did the teacher write on R2-D2’s school report? ‘Could have droid harder.’
13. ‘How do I get my men across the river when all the bridges are down?’ wondered Luke.
‘Use the fords, Luke,’ whispered Obi Wan.
14. How much did the bad guy weigh in The Force Awakens? 90 Kylos.
15. Why did the bad guys get a discount at the wholesalers in The Force Awakens? It was their First Order.
16. Qui-Gon Jinn’s Photography Agency Motto: ‘Your focus determines your reality.’
17. 'This Wookie steak is a little Chewie.'
18. What was Jabba the Hutt's name when he was smaller? Jabba the Kennel. (If he'd lived longer, he would have been known as Jabba the Conservatory.)
19. Which ship is the Godfather of all the others? The Millennium Falcone.
20. What online encyclopaedia does Chewbacca always use? Wookiepedia.
21. What did Darth Vader say in the vegetarian restaurant? 'I find your lack of steak disturbing.'
I did warn you.