The Real World Wide Web

One evening, many years ago, I was in a room listening to someone describe an event in their lives. This person was a known compulsive talker - someone whose conversation consisted of a continuous one-way flow, into which it was difficult to interject a single word and from which it was very difficult to extricate oneself. One’s normal instinct, upon being ‘trapped’ in a room with such a person, was to find some excuse to escape. But in this particular instance it was just him and me, in a room, with me listening and him talking.

He was recollecting a holiday he had been on many years ago in Scotland. Part of the memory was of a time spent near the coast in a small caravan, at night, with a storm outside. As he described the scene in ever-increasing detail, I paid attention rather than drifting off or pondering what I would like to say next. I was utilising some skills I had learned years before on how to listen - in other words, how to put one’s attention on what the other person was communicating rather than on one’s proposed reply. It’s a fundamentally useful skill, and one which I deeply recommend that everyone learns, especially writers - but it takes practice, as we tend to naturally lean to our own side of any given conversation and want to develop our own point of view and responses, rather than pay much heed to what another is saying. When one is able to switch this around, and to give one’s full attention to the communications of another, marvellous things can occur.

And they did this evening. As I listened closely, hearing of the conversations inside the caravan, the shifting moods of the people inside, the sounds that they could hear, the smells of freshly made tea and toast, the slight rocking of the caravan as the storm heightened, the whole tableau took full shape in my mind. I heard the rain; I saw the dim light; I felt the caravan walls around me. And then an odd thing started to happen. As the person chuckled about that time, as his own heart warmed to the significance of it, as his nostalgia for it turned into realisations about his life in the present moment, it was as though we had both linked in to some kind of network of importances.

This is difficult to describe, and I hasten to add that no ‘substances’ were involved - but it was as though we were both sharing a memory. As we ended off the chat and left the room, this ‘sharing’ experience did not leave me: it seemed as though people I met in the corridors and down the stairs were somehow part of the memory; as we entered a noisier zone, the songs on a nearby radio blended in with this sharing, and the conversations of those around us seemed laden with related significance.

As I say, it’s difficult to describe. In brief, and probably in a way which will make you question its authenticity, it appeared as though the world and everything in it was connected in unforeseen and invisible ways - what someone sang in a song was intimately connected with a conversation that passers-by were having; a distant laugh had somehow something to do with a comment made on the other side of a room; even the colour of a wall seemed somehow connected to a more general mood or atmosphere. It went even further: a memory that I had was no longer in the past; a moment of the future was no longer still to come - instead of being distinct and separated, everything was part of a web of interconnected relevance. The whole thing was tranquil and natural, and, I emphasise, entirely unconnected with drugs, though I have heard that this kind of thing is what people sometimes experience having taken drugs. Life was not what it had appeared to be prior to my conversation about the caravan: it was a much more interesting, interwoven and inter-related thing than I had ever imagined.

The sensation - if that is the right word - faded. Within an hour, things had resumed a more prosa